Have you ever found yourself in this position? It is lunchtime, and you are heading to your favorite happy junk food cart. On the way out the door for your brief, but much needed break, you glimpse Sue out of the corner of your eye. You place your head down and make a Spartan charge to the glass door only to be verbally ensnared with “Hey, you gotta second to chat?” Several well laid paths unfold before your subconscious eye. Do you speed up, and risk the chance of seeming self absorbed or do you slow down and take the risk of being seen with an employee who is in a heated battle with your boss? You're at the entrance and exit of the office building for Pete's sake. Office wars are almost always messy and filled with collateral damage. And, realistically, does it really matter who is wrong or who is right? Are you really going to play judge over the office antics, face book gossip, or the happy hour ramblings of a co-worker? No, you are not and you should not have to. The challenge then becomes maintaining the tight rope act in the circus that has become your job. Here are two suggestions:
“Really? I never knew that.”
Ignorance really is bliss. This is especially the case when your boss is having a diagnostic conversation with you about the office etiquette of Sue. Your boss already has determined that Sue is annoying, demeaning and arrogant. He just needs to know if you agree with him. Plead the 5th amendment, or act as if you never met Sue before, and don't know her cantankerous ways. For example, when your boss awkwardly laughs and comments that everything on the floor seems a bit more peaceful during Sue's lunch break, don't take his silence as green light for you to spew Sue's annoying habit of having loud personal phone conversations from within her cubicle. Instead, act as if you're oblivious. Reply with “Really, I don't really notice the quiet.” You might seem less qualified than your resume may have led your boss to believe, but you would have steered clear of a bloody altercation. If feigned ignorance is not acceptable, try this next strategy. 2. “Yes, working is hard.” Don't underestimate the importance of using obvious-overstated-generalizations. I like to call them “oogs”. Oogs are a great way to appear passionate about the topic of the conversation without having to attack or defend the person involved. Consider using this strategy the next time Sue corners you with the statement “ the boss is such a jerk, the way he's always walking after us and double checking over our work as if we are children.” Insert the oog by replying, “children should be given room to grow”. This is especially effective if you become a bit more passionate in your reply than your co-workers original comment. After all, aren't you much more passionate about the maturation of a child than your coworker's assessment of your boss? Finally, whatever strategy you choose to employ, just remember to not choose a side. This is not a matter for you to decide as well as play the role of a counselor. Just do your job. Hopefully, these strategies will help you remain cordial and peaceful in what could be a very hostile environment. At the end of your workday you do not want to go home worried, so plan and strategize to maintain your peace today.
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